Premarital Counseling

WEEK #1: Communication and Intimacy

1. COMMUNICATION
Active listening, “I” messages, compromise. Clearing anger, making time for your relationship, setting boundaries. Learning to ask for what you want and to listen to your partner’s feelings.

2. TEAMWORK
Creating an identity for the marriage. Becoming “WE”. Learning your autonomy/intimacy balance.

WEEK #2: Negotiating and Accommodating:

3. HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES
How are these shared fairly? Re-negotiated on a regular basis?

4. WORK
How will you make boundaries between work and your relationship? How will you handle competition? Identity through work?

5. FINANCES
How will you manage & handle finances fairly?

WEEK #3: Boundaries and Cultural Compromise

6. CHILDREN
Do you want children? When? What kind of parent will your partner make? What values do you share/differ on?

7. IN-LAWS
Different families, different cultures.... different expectations about closeness and boundaries.

WEEK #4: Establishing and Maintaining Intimacy

8. SEXUALITY
Your sexual strengths and weaknesses as a couple. How will you maintain the good feeling throughout your lives, for example, after a baby or when work pressures threaten?

WEEK #5: Creating Your Future Together

9. GOALS
What are your individual and joint projects: professional, personal, material, social, emotional, spiritual?

WEEK #6: Putting It All Together

10. JOINT ACTION
Plan together to make a contract and a commitment to a loving and working relationship.

EILEEN M. CREAN, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
2340 Ward Street, Suite 204 • Berkeley, CA 94705 • Phone: (510) 549-3404